The Box
by stuckbeingrachel
Summary: 'People say facing your fears will help you not be afraid of them anymore. Well, this is my fear.' Spin-off of I Love My Sister(yes, another one...) Jerome based with a hint of one-sided Jara. Told in Jerome's POV. R&R! I don't own HOA! One-shot!


**Alright, y'all! Enjoy! This is mostly Jerome based but has a hint of one-sided (I guess you could say...?) Jara goin' on. And like I said in the summary, this is like a spin-off of I Love My Sister. So, R&R!**

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**Jerome's POV**

I stared at the cardboard box that sat on my bed before me. There are things in there I haven't seen in years. Should I open it? My left hand twitched at the thought of opening it. Memories are in that box, so many memories. Do I really want to open that gigantic, emotion filled can of worms? No. I don't. There was a reason why I'd tried to burn it. That box is a prison to my innermost thoughts and feelings. If I see one thing that hits an emotion nerve, I'll crack. I'm not as strong, tough, proud and careless as everyone thinks. I'll break down if I see anything that would remind me of anyone from my past. I spent years blocking every stupid memory out. I rarely opened the identical box that was stuffed in a dark corner of my brain, so why would I open this one? I mean, it hurts to see and feel memories. People say facing your fears will help you not be afraid of them anymore. Well, this is my fear. But I never understood that if someone was afraid of something, how could they face it? How did they do it? And before I knew what was happening, my arm lurched out and my hand flipped the lid open. It all happened so fast, I didn't know why my brain decided to that to me. I might have a nervous breakdown because of all the memories stored in here. Half of the contents could be seen at the top of the box. Now I have to look.

The first item I chose to torture myself with was a picture; a picture taken the night before I held Poppy for the first time. On the upper left corner was her hospital bracelet. My mother didn't keep it when we left the hospital; she cut it off and threw it away. I snuck downstairs that night, risking everything I had, though I didn't know it at the time, and kept it myself. 18 1/2 inches, 5 pounds, 8 ounces; I remember everything, every detail. It was 3:12 in the morning on a very cold day in November that she was born; I wasn't allowed to see her until the next day. When I first held her I was nervous and almost in tears. Being a big brother was new to me and I thought it was something that would make my parents proud of me, that my sister would look up to me like I was a hero. I didn't know if she did think that, but when we were little, before I left for boarding school, she would follow me around all of the time. After being at school for a year, I had wanted to see her and I waited out on the doorstep all night long for my parent's red car to drive up. Around seven o'clock Trudy had brought me back inside and tucked me in bed with a cup of hot chocolate. I never saw Poppy again after that. Until this year when she came to school, and then I found out she's exactly like me! Not like mom or Aaron—me.

More and more things kept flowing out of the box and I thought back to the time it was from. Each flashback made my heart harden, my chest tighten with tears. I'd beat myself if I cried over these stupid memories.

The next item that came from the bottom of the box, with a few other things, while the rest of the memories were scattered around my bed, was a locket. A gold heart locket I'd found at a store when I was six. Trudy had taken me to town for my birthday when my parents didn't show up for the second time. She'd taken me to a small shop at the corner of Main Street. While she was browsing I had my eye on a gold heart shaped locket with little hearts and butterflies carved into the cover. Trudy had walked up behind me and smiled when she saw what I was looking at. 'I'll get you that if you promise me something.' She had said to me. I looked up at her with questioning eyes. I didn't bother to tell her _I _didn't want it. I asked her what I had to promise her and she bent down to my level. 'If I get you that locket, you have to promise me that you'll save it for the girl you'll always be with, you'll always love, and is The One for you.' she said. I didn't know what she meant at the time but now I do. It's for one girl—Mara. I don't know if I'll ever get to give it to her but it's hers—no one else's.

The next thing was also for Mara if I ever get the chance to give it to her; my grandmother's engagement and wedding rings. They were simple gold bands with small diamonds. Mara was never the flashy kind of girl, and I know these would be perfect for her. My grandmother, Blythe, had been the only family member that loved me. She lived in an old folk's home, so she couldn't take me in. But she sent me money and toys on my birthday and used to visit me. She only did it for the first two years of my stay here at Anubis though; she'd passed when I was seven. The rings were sent to the house by my grandmother's wish, to be given to me. I miss her. She would tell me stories about everything she'd seen when she was young and a traveler. She had been all around the world, and when she told me those stories it made me want to travel as well.

The last thing was something I'll never let go. When Poppy was seven and I was eleven, she'd sent me a letter. When I'd received it, I was afraid to open it; I thought it was a sick joke by one of the kids at school. I had taken the chance though and opened the envelope. The paper was folded multiple times and had many stickers on the back. In Poppy's messy seven year old handwriting she'd written,

_Jerome this is your sister Poppy! I don't know what you look like but Aaron he told me you look exactly like me and him! He helped me write this and send it before school. He said I'm very good at spelling. He told me to tell you not to write back because mum might see that I was writing to you. I don't understand why I can't write to you. I keep hoping you'll come back from boarding school but I never see anyone that looks like Aaron. We got a puppy! His name is Rascal. Aaron named him. I have a mix between brown and blonde hair and my eyes are a mix of blue and green. My favorite color is blue. I hope one day you and I will get to meet. Will you ever come back home? Aaron said you most likely will not. If you are reading this, Aaron told me to tell you that he misses you. Okay he didn't tell me to tell you that but I think he does. He has a picture of you under his pillow. I saw it last night when I went into his room because I had a bad dream. I miss you even though I do not remember you. Do you remember me? I love you Jerome! _

_Love Poppy_

Reading that made me smile every time; she was a good speller for her age. I found out a week ago that she likes to write mysteries. I've never read any of her pieces but I'd love to. I never thought Aaron might miss me. When we were kids, before I left for school, we'd done many things, mostly sports related. I can still kick a football harder than he can; he doesn't like to admit it though, he just says he's going easy on me.

Going through my memories wasn't as bad as I thought. My heart isn't hurting as bad as it did five years ago. It feels good to face your fears. So, I may not have gotten over these grudges I have on most of my life, but it feels good to think about my feelings. Some of these memories make me want to cry, laugh, and even punch the wall. I'll have to do this again, in time. I don't want to do it so close to the last time I did it.

I repacked the past and closed the box tightly, sliding it under my bed, way back by the wall. I ran a hand through my blonde hair, sitting on the floor, my back pressed against the bed.

The box and my feelings are safe.

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**1,500 words.**

**Like it? Love it? Hate it? Actually the last one is not an option so ignore it. REVIEW!**

**I'm workin' on some more one-shots as you read this! And some drabbles/one-shots for Bad Boy Babysitter! And chapters for Crowns and Tears of Gold, hopefully (if this goes well...) I'll finish it before the end of the year. That's what I'm goin' for. Also, I'm workin' on some more House of Couples drabbles. And speaking of HOC, please vote for it on HOA Wikia! Go to my profile and find the link under to label _Vote!_. Thanks!**

**John 20:29: 'Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."**

**Love y'all! God bless!**

**-Rachel**


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